Zombie, n.:

source: gniniar.wordpress.com

I know love when I feel one. Just like how I know it's a bitch when I see one, and how to avoid it the way I dodge a volleyball when it's flying straight towards my face. But somehow, this me-knowing-everything kind of thing is freaking me in for some instances. Like, it makes me mad and want to scream as if a dumbfuck elephant in the midst of the wild, but still I prefer to shut my mouth and keep it all to myself. That's how I freak in. It's as if there is a party inside my body and at the same time, a war in my head. Anyway, the point is I want to feel love like how I felt it before: Pure. Genuine. Distilled. I know it's all cheese but for fuck's sake! Can't this guy be happy for real this time?

For quite some time, I've been sitting in the Stool of Torment and lying on the Bed of Roses. Nobody notices my pain and wounds that are caused by the wedges and thorns because there is no blood gushing out of my body. And the only reason for it is that I'm all dried up. I'm dead. And I need someone to revive me because honestly, I feel like a zombie now; searching and searching for someone to eat when instead, I should be looking for somebody who would find joy in satisfying my appetite by feeding me everything I need. Does that even make sense? Anyway. I want someone to love me. To say she loves me. To show me she really does. And to say it again and again and again and again! I want her to love me the way I want to be loved.

Come on! Where are you, uhm... er... soulmate?

Where the fuck are you?

Eat me!

And I'll eat you back!

Deviant, adj.:

Never ever believe in love, for it is the slowest form of suicide. It is the same as jumping off a cliff, cutting your wrist with a blade, or stabbing yourself with a new sharpened knife. It does give you nothing but pain and agony. And the ecstasy you think you're feeling, in fact, is just a product of your own desperate and vivid imagination.

source: modificatuiphone.com

There's no such thing as love. And even if there is, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. It leaves your heart out in the open, making it a piece of cake to break into tiny pieces until all the debris is finally gone with the grey wind of melancholia. Love is a thought, not an emotion. Therefore, you should not take it and make it as the center of your life for the reason that emotions ruin everything. They raise the tendencies of you being predictable, vulnerable and breakable. You need to keep in mind that your brain must always be stronger than your heart. You have to act and to be tough and that you can love yourself just by yourself. Because time will come, it's just you and your shadow against the world. No one will be there to save you from something. Nobody will give a fuck. Purely nothing will ever be lovely, you'll see.